Madness! Attack of the Killer Clown
FADE IN:1
EXT. CITYSCAPE – DAY (CLOUDY)
WIDE-SHOT.
NARRATOR (VO)
It’s the year 20XX of the Gregorian calendar—Lightning flashed in the skies. RUMBLING. Declining birth rates, tax increases, pension issues… As the north winds continuously blew its loneliness onto modern society, unaware, eventually, all of humanity lost its ability to smile.
EXT. ROOFTOP – DAY (CLOUDY)
CLOWN appears on the rooftop.
CLOWN
Damnit, every single one of them… their faces are all sullen. The job of the clown is to make people laugh. I… I’ll bring laughter back to this world.
NARRATOR (VO)
The Killer Clown had a calling. He was out to melt the frozen hearts of the people, to bring smiles and happiness to their lives!
BEGIN TITLES
Madness! Attack of the Killer Clown JINGLING.
END TITLES
INT. APARTMENT – IN FRONT OF THE DOOR – NIGHT
SALARY MANTARO2 returns home from work.
He lets out a deep sigh.
MANTARO
Life is so rough… I can’t do this anymore. My salary won’t increase and my gen ZZ (double zed) subordinates keep complaining that I’m whatchama-harassing them. On top of that, my daughter is going through her rebellious phase and hasn’t talked to me in over a year, and my wife ran off to god knows where with a homewrecker. Meanwhile… I’m here living a ‘dollar store beef bowl’ for dinner everyday kinda life…
INT. APARTMENT – ENTRANCE – NIGHT
MANTARO walks into his home.
MANTARO
Hm? It’s unusual for the lights to be on. Perhaps… My wife came back?
The killer CLOWN appears wearing a pink apron.
CLOWN
Welcome home, honey!
MANTARO
Wha!? W-Who are you?
CLOWN
We’re gonna have your favourite curry udon for dinner tonight! And look! Our daughter Michiko wrote you a letter to express her gratitude. She’s thankful that you’re always doing your best at work for our family.
MANTARO slurps up his curry udon as he reads the letter.
MANTARO
Uuu… Delicious. I’m so happy…
MANTARO’s face breaks into a smile.
MANTARO (CONT’D)
Speaking of which, who exactly are you?
CLOWN
I’m…
The killer CLOWN takes out a knife from his pocket and stabs MANTARO.
MANTARO falls.
CLOWN
I’m the messiah of happiness~.
The killer CLOWN lays MANTARO down on the ground, places a heart sticker on his chest, and sticks a flower on his head.
CLOWN
May you be happy in your next life.
FADE OUT.
…I, Akuta Isotake, leaned back into my chair feeling like I accomplished a whooooole looooooooooot…
“Mm… Mm… Amazing…! This slaps!”
This introduction I wrote is PEAK! No matter how many times I reread it, it slays! No seriously, it’s the entire eatery. Like, the hook itself seriously ain’t playing, for reals. Can’t help but wonder what kinda stuff's gonna show up afterwards. If I do say so myself.
The story of “The Killer Clown” was something I thought up before we all became Ward Mayors—it happened on the day we found that egg, the day the old school building exploded. Ever since then, I’ve accumulated all sorts of notes on potential ideas. This was a plan I’ve been building up for a while now and today was the day to finally get it down. So I started writing my script, however—
“It’s seriously Oscar worthy. Am I GOATed or what!”
Just as my mind was overflowing with ideas, my body shivering from all the goosebumps, Nanaki, who had been silently composing behind me this whole time, laughed.
“Wow, you’re really going at it today.”
“Yarrrr!”
“You writing a script?”
“You betchaa.”
Nanaki seemed interested and tilted his head over, “You’re seriously all hyped up today. Did something good happen to you?”
“Ah, you wanna know?” I nodded back.
Ahhh but it’s kiiinda embarrassing to drop the bomb like this! That “something good,” the whole reason why I started writing this script in the first place, it’s—
“So actually… I… got… a girlfriend…!”
“Wha-”
After hearing those words, Nanaki immediately stiffened up.
“And guess what! That girl said she wanted to see my movie!”
“Wh-Wha…!?”
“If someone suddenly says that to you, you’re bound to get hyped yeah? Like your worth got recognized or something. So that’s why I started working on The Killer Clown—”
“*stands up*…!”
“Eh-”
When Nanaki got up in the middle of my story, it scared the bejeezus outta me. And what’s more, Nanaki’s face was super duper stiff. Like I thought he wanted to take a dump or something, but that wasn’t it.
Nanaki rushed outta the room in a panic.
“Wait wait wait, where you going?”
“This is a big deal.”
And so, I had no choice but to go after him!
Nanaki scurried over to the living room where Raito-san and Yukikaze-san were having a nice conversation.
“Akuta has a girlfriend!”
“Oh…?”
“Eh?”
“Dude, why you telling everyone?”
“This is a big deal.”
“Haha! That’s all you’ve been saying since earlier.”
Nanaki swiftly made a U-turn and headed towards the changing rooms. This time Renga-san and Nayuki-san were the ones chatting away.
“Akuta has a girlfriend!”
“Huh?”
“HUUUUH?????”
The news spread like wildfire.
“W-W-WHAT——!!!”
As a result, HAMA House was shaken to its very core!