Commotion! GF Origins: Emergency Press Conference
Soon after, an “emergency press conference to discuss the origins of Akuta’s girlfriend in question” was held in the living room of HAMA House. I was like, bombarded with questions from all sides, to the point where I kinda couldn’t tell who exactly was there. All I knew was that it seemed like the whole squad pulled up!
“Akuta-kun has a girlfriend!? When did you guys start talking?”
“Um, like, a little while ago…, maybe about a week?” I replied to the giddy Toi-san.
“A g-g-girlfriend… good for you…! What’s her name?”
“Thanks, man! The name’s a secret for now!”
“I-I see… in that case congrats…!” Renga-san chimed in from the side wearing a super happy expression.
“Now, now, it’s the period of your life where your studies matter the most, so I am expecting a proper and pure relationship out of you.”
“W-What are you implying teach! I have a girl-friend! Friend! Like a buddy!”
Karigane-sensei misunderstood me I think, so I had to emphasize to him that she wasn’t my girlfriend and that we were just friends.
“Ahh, of course that’s how it is. I knew something was up the moment Panda started talking like Idiotake had a girlfriend.”
“…She’s not your girlfriend…?”
Ushio and Nanaki stared at me with curiosity.
“No!!!!! I mean, we haven’t even met yet! It’s an online friend, my dudes!”
“Panda was cooking with this one~”
“I-I see. From the way it sounded…”
As soon as he heard this, Yachiyo-san exclaimed,
“Wait, if it’s an online friend, then couldn’t it potentially be a bot!???”
And with that one word.
“A bot… Hmm I dunno… that seems… kinda… unlikely.”
“Have you guys video-called before? If not then it could be a catfisher.”
“Or potentially a dream or hallucination. Isotake has an active imagination, after all.”
Kiroku, Tao-san, and Muneuji started discussing potential possibilities.
“She had a cute voice! Like she sent me a voice message once.”
“That’s definitely an old man behind there! Voice changers are pretty common nowadays and you can’t tell if it’s even a real girl behind the phone anymore…!”
Yachiyo-san started droning on about it, and the whole thing became so wack that even I started to laugh a little.
Everyone started cooking things up like “oh, but this,” or like “oh, but that,” until finally, someone proposed “let’s just have Kinari-san analyze the voice” and we just kinda went with it~.
“Summarizing all data acquired up to current system time. Results indicate a 48.9% chance of AI and 24.7% chance of mistaken identity.”
“I-It’s not a catfisher! She knows my name and all!”
“Additional data required for further calculations.”
“E-Ehhhhhh!”
And so, I was about to hop off and get some more samples for him… but then the interrogation started again. However—
“That girl is seriously looking forward to my movie, like she even sends me encouraging messages everyday and all that! She does say that she’s lonely and can’t sleep if we don’t talk on Pechat before bed sometimes, but like other than that she’s like insanely chill! That’s all folks! Press conference over!”
That’s about all that I explained. There were some people that wanted to keep asking questions, but I was like nope, and refused them all. ‘Cause technically speaking, this is an invasion of privacy, and she’d probably be uncomfortable if I just went ahead and spilled everything. Probably.
“Wow, they’re a really precious friend huh~. Maybe it’ll work out one day,” Ten-san teased. However—
“No, it’s not like that. Plus, I don’t… really… fall in love… that easily… Like going with the flow and falling in love willy nilly is probably inconsiderate to the other person…”
And when I said that—
“Not the type to fall in love… easily… I see… Hmm I see…”
I don’t know why, but Nanaki made like, this complicated face for a while.
In anycase, just like that? We called it a day for the press conference. Everyone split off to do their own things and returned to their own rooms. If I’m gonna become an intergalactic movie director, then I’m gonna have to participate in even bigger press conferences, or do red carpet premieres everyday, so I’m glad I got to practice for that~. With those thoughts in mind, I also returned to my room and continued working on the script.
NARRATOR (VO)
Meanwhile, at that time of the murder, the police were…
Detective RUKEY1 bursts into the office.
RUKEY
Detective~! We have a problem! He… He struck again! The Killer Clown!
The DETECTIVE slams his fist on the desk
DETECTIVE
Shit! That bastard! Just how many more people will he kill before he’s satisfied!?
RUKEY
The second victim was 45 year old Senor Mann!2 There was a flower left on his head and a heart sticker stuck to his chest…, JUST LIKE THE PREVIOUS CASE!
DETECTIVE
Son of a gun… going around tryin’ a change the world for the better. Is this a challenge to national authorities…? Are you trying to light the flames within this old man by goading me to catch you!?
The DETECTIVE has a look of determination on his face.
DETECTIVE
I’ll definitely bring you to justice… No matter what!
The original name is 新米 pronounced “shinbei.” The name’s alternative meaning is “rookie,” with the name meaning rookie detective. Hence why I decided to name him Rukey (credits to sou).
The original name is 古株義男 pronounced “furukabu yoshio,” meaning “old timer yoshio.” Hence why the decision to call him Senor Mann aka Senior Man was made (credits to sou).